U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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