I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
