You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
