He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
