i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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