It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
