Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
