I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
