Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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