Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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