that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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