Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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