Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize