i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
