I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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