Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
