my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
