What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
