is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
