a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
