Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
