And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
