Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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