You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize