that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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