He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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