By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
