Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
