I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
