New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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