Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
