i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
