Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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