I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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