New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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