Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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