And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
