and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize