also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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