the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
