and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
