would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
