How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
