I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
