There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
