they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
