I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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