my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
