it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
