girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
