Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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