Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
