i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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