Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
