can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
