So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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