i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
