i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When are your genitals available?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
A+ Viking dick
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
