kristin has been a bad kristin
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
