dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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