man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize